are you one of the many emo boys out there who wishes to be none other than the famous heartbreaker Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the third? i wish i would use my magical powers to help you achieve your sophisticated goal, but then i would get very weak and my fingers would turn to dust. but here are some tips to help you get close.
step one: get a fender squire bass, and learn to play it......badly. sir wentz makes sure that all his prefomances are from the heart. which sucks. so make sure you make those finger tips bleed by sliding them up and down instead of skillfully flying around the frets.
step two: go to walmart and pick up the latest issue of popstar magazine. now wait another month. now put them side by side and compare all of the pete wentz pictures. what do you see? thats right! petes hair styles are each one of a kind and home salon dyed. now go to target and buy some very cherry hair dye, some black hair dye, some bleach, and some pink. now go home and put it all in a drawer. choose the black dye as your first change. apply it and wait. next month, pick another color, and repeat.
step three: well now, do you have a digital camera? no? then get one! mr wentz is a very proud camera whore. take pictures of yourself continously through out the day. make different poses, and get in different lighting. if you want to take your wanna be wentz to the extreme, go in your bathroom, put up some white and gold wallpaper with little stars and moons on it. hang up some morrisy posters and tape them well. now go in there with your camera and take all your clothes off. take some pictures of that, and wala! wentz!
step four: write some really good songs
step five: do you have an easy life? awww, well isnt that nice? no. you want to be wentz? then start complaining about everything. complain about how your friends are forgetting you, complain about how nobody accepts you for you. complain about the way the world is. complain about that flower that just gave you a dirty look. complain about how your crembrule is to soft. complain about your pillow smelling like your mama's underwear. compain about everthing and nothing 24/7.
step five: get involved with romance. your first girl is Michelle Trachenburg. then let her go and get married. then cry about how noone loves you. then go out with Ashlee Simpson, and lie about it. let photographers take pictures of you two making out and giving eachother lapdances, but deny every dating her.
step six: start a band. start a band and make sure your posistion is the bassist. get other band members who are actually good, and have talent and steal all of the attention away from them. make sure you say a bunch of cute witty things about yourself and then say super nice things about the rest of the band.
step seven: last but deffinitly the most important: dont do any of these things. pete wentz is an idiot.
